Subject: People » Women (Page 21)

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage Men People Women

If I was “The Bachelor” we’d all play Mario Kart for eight weeks… then I’d pick the one with the biggest boobs.

American comedian
People Situations Women

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Men Old People Sex Women

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Things Women

Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind.

Men Money People Women

Pizza is like a lady’s breasts: there’s good pizza… and there’s great pizza; but there isn’t bad pizza.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Women

Women won't even brag about [giving birth]… we men, when we fix a doorknob, drinks are on the house.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Men People Speech Women

It's ill-becoming for an old broad to sing about how bad she wants it… but occasionally we do.

(1917 – 2010) American singer & actress
Entertainment People Sex Women

You guys have it so easy; you don't shave: it's sexy, it's a turn-on; we don't shave: it's birth control.

stand-up comedian
Men People Women

Women don't want to hear what you think; women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication People Speech Women

[With women] it’s like God made a little package; it’s all tucked in with hospital corners and stuff; and with men, it’s like God started to make a bow, and the phone rang.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian & actress
Men People Women

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends People Women

A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.

(1911 – 1989) television actress
Age People Women

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion; a woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist
Characteristics Men People Women

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Love Women

A man's face is his autobiography; a woman's face is her work of fiction.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Men People Women

Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Women

My husband could have had any women he pleased – he just couldn't please any!

Husbands Marriage Women

You might be a redneck if… you go to the family reunion to meet women.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Women

Definition of a Jewish nymphomaniac: A woman who will make love the same day she has her hair done.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Definitions Sex Women

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.

(1857 – 1924) English (Polish-Ukrainian-born) novelist
Men People Problems Women