Subject: People » Women (Page 21)

Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong; when a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong; and when a woman says that something isn't funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
People TV/Movie Quotes Women

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
People Women

I'm trying to find one woman that I can spend the rest of this weekend with.

American comedian
People Relationships Women

Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Men People Women

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much – just an occasional sun visor.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing Men People Shopping Women

I've been looking for a girl like you… not you… but a girl like you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People Women

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People Shopping Women

Nymphomaniac:  a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Men People Sex Women

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Beliefs Men People Women

A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Men People Women

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.

Age Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

You ever been on a date so bad, the girl makes you drop her off at another dude's house?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Dating People Relationships Situations Women

Intuition: The sixth sense that allows a woman five wrong guesses.

Definitions Women

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body.

(1664 – 1726) English architect & dramatist
Emotions Love Sex Women

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her, when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Women

I know when (women) don't like me 'cause they'll say things like, 'Yeah, that's him, officer.'

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
People Self Women

There is no such thing as an unattached woman.

Murphy’s Laws People Relationships Women

Women have a passion for mathematics; they divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.

(1899 – 1974) French screenwriter, teacher & journalist
People Women

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Girls People Women

Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
People Women