Subject: Places (Page 41)

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination.

(1912 – 2006) Romanian-born Canadian writer
Canada Insults

You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Emotions Hollywood Places

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

(1901 – 1963) American comic actor, writer & director
Hollywood Places

A government survey reveals the prime minister is doing the work of two men… Laurel and Hardy.

(1930 – 2016) Scottish stand-up comedian, actor, writer & broadcaster
England Government

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Places

In Russia we only had two TV channels: Channel One was propaganda, Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: “Turn back at once to Channel One.”

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Entertainment Places Television

Every time an Oscar is given out, an agent gets his wings.

(1948 – ) American actress & director
Entertainment Hollywood Places

I don't like Norwegians at all; the sun never sets, the bar never opens, and the whole country smells of kippers.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Places

Given the unlikely options of attending a funeral or a sex orgy, a true Irishman will always opt for the funeral.

(1928 – 2002) Irish playwright, novelist & essayist
People Places

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Fools Government Intelligence World

I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside “Made around the corner.”

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Places

I enjoy being in America: it's fun, you know, because you have, you have so many things we never had in Russia — like warning shots.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

What I gained by being in France was learning to be better satisfied with my own country.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Places

He worked like hell in the country so he could live in the city, where he worked like hell so he could live in the country.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
America Places Work

It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Places Speech

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark.

(1868-1954) professor & writer
Insults Places

I came from a real tough neighborhood; on my street, the kids take hubcaps – from moving cars.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Places Things

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold Places Science/Weather

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

The whole world is turning into a regular Sodom and Glocca Morra.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Places

Hollywood made a movie of my life; the film had me proposing to my wife on the football field… I would never misuse a football field that way.

American football player
Football Hollywood Places Sports