Subject: Places (Page 42)

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Health Money Places

What IS a ‘moderate Iranian,’ anyway?… someone who takes hostages but doesn't eat them?

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Government Places Politics

Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
America Places

Don't let the whole world come here and see our stuff; it just pisses them off.

television executive & comedian
America Anger Emotions Places World

I’ve now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones… unfortunately, it’s a lower case l.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Places

Scotland: That garret of the earth – that knuckle-end of England – that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Insults Places

I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Age Friends People Places President

Carter wants to go to Washington; he'll feel right at home there – he was raised on a nut farm.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government People Places

The first time I ever came into a game there [Yankee Stadium], I got in the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball New York City Places Sports

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot… but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Parents Places

My boyfriend's kids are half-Swedish, half-Norwegian: "They're see-through."

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics People Places

I miss America. I miss crime and murder. I miss Philadelphia. There hasn't been a brutal stabbing or anything here the last 24 hours. I've missed it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Places Sports

I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a shitload of money.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money Places

I was so poor… in my neighborhood, the rainbow was in black and white!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places Poverty

America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.

American folksinger & activist
America Places

I often say after eight years in Washington, I longed for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Government Hollywood Places

I think it’s pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.

Appearance Body Places

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Places

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

Food/Drink Places

Hollywood made a movie of my life; the film had me proposing to my wife on the football field… I would never misuse a football field that way.

American football player
Football Hollywood Places Sports

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Places