Subject: Places (Page 42)

If you did manage to get any good shots, they will be ruined when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all of the dark leaks out.

Murphy’s Laws Places

Washington is a much better place if you are asking questions rather than answering them.

Murphy’s Laws Places

Welcome to Hell… here's your accordion.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
Places

The Middle Eastern states aren’t nations, they’re quarrels with borders.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Conflict Fights Places

I can never forgive God for having created the French.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
People Places

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from rudeness.

(1941 – ) novelist
Characteristics Places

A New Zealander in a frenzy is an American in a coma.

(1970 – ) New Zealand stand-up comedian & radio & television personality
Characteristics Places World

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Places

And later on, it’s the Syracuse Orangemen against the Indiana Hoosiers from Hawaii.

Misspokements Places

I was just vacationing in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal; let me rephrase that – I was just vacationing in Amsterdam because prostitution is legal.

American comedian & writer
Activities Places Travel

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

I get to go to lots of overseas places… like Canada.

(1981 – ) American singer
Intelligence Misspokements Places

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

I can’t listen to that much Wagner… I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict Entertainment Music Places War

England is better only because I stand out there as ‘unusual.’

(1956 – ) American comedian
England People Places Self

Cambridge is the kind of place where you can walk into a children’s bookstore and find a self-help section.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Children Intelligence Places

It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.


People Places

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a handgun than a packet of cigarettes.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
America Arms Situations Things

1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws New York City Places

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Girls Places