Subject: Places (Page 44)

Socialite: Whatever possessed you to be born in a place like Lowell, Massachusetts?

Whistler: I wished to be near my mother.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Family Mothers Places

Of course they have, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here talking to someone like you.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Characteristics England People

My dad fought in World War II, and he never talks about it, of course – ’cause he’s Japanese.

comedian
Communication Family Fathers Places

Here [in Paris] they hang a man first, and try him afterward.

(1622 – 1673) French playwright & actor
Government Law Places

You cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine; it is the country with the worst food after Finland.

(1932 – ) French statesman & president
England Food/Drink Places

Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland.

(1937 – 2012) New Zealand author
America Canada Places

For the white people, it would be like if you were going to Vermont.

American stand-up comedian
People Places

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Places

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Insults People

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Marriage Places

I want to succeed in America where, unlike Britain, they do not regard ambition as being the same as eating babies.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
America Places Success

I sometimes think that the saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities – a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
America Places

There are no eccentrics in the suburbs.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Intelligence People Places

Three o’clock in the morning, you can get truck tires, falafel and a bag of heroin – in the same store.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian, radio personality, author & actor
New York City Places Shopping

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

That is what has made America last these past 200 centuries.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
America Misspokements Places

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into [a store] and punched someone in the face.

English musician, actor, writer & comedian
Conflict Fights Places World

What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? … Asif.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Honesty People Places

Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
America Insults Places

Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA; you know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Places Situations

Hell may have a worse climate but undoubtedly the company is spritelier.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
People Places Situations