Subject: Places (Page 44)

Just been with my girlfriend to a nice little place run by some Italians… it was Italy.

(1968 – ) English comedian, writer, director & musician
Places

A hospital is no place to be sick.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Health Places

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Health Old Places

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Canada Hockey Places Science/Weather Sports

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

A city where everyone mutinies but no one deserts.

(1885 –1974) American cartoonist, humor writer & radio personality
New York City Places

In Alaska, we have just two seasons — this winter and next winter.

(1897 – 1991) American Air Force General
Places Science/Weather

I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Characteristics Life World

America is a large friendly dog in a small room; every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

(1889 – 1975) English historian
America Places

Socialite: Whatever possessed you to be born in a place like Lowell, Massachusetts?

Whistler: I wished to be near my mother.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Family Mothers Places

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Places World

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Places Relationships

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Places

The museum boasted owning the original version of Beethoven's unfinished basement.

comedian
Entertainment Music Places

My parents were English; we were too poor to be British.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
England Places

In Scotland we have a verdict ‘not proven;’ that means ‘not guilty, but don’t do it again.’

Law Places

My boyfriend's kids are half-Swedish, half-Norwegian: "They're see-through."

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics People Places

I get to go to lots of overseas places… like Canada.

(1981 – ) American singer
Intelligence Misspokements Places

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

(1925 – 2005) television host
New York City People Places

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.

(1924 – 2014) American actress & model
Divorce Hollywood Marriage Places