Subject: Places (Page 9)

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretenses.

(1862 – 1935) American athlete & evangelist
Places

England is better only because I stand out there as ‘unusual.’

(1956 – ) American comedian
England People Places Self

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Beliefs Places

If you buy your July 4 supplies at Walmart you can celebrate our independence from Britain and our dependence on China at the same time.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Places

If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Money Places Wealth

One of those Canadian proverbs.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Places

I often confuse Americans and Canadians… by using long words.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
America Canada People Places

Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Places

You might be a redneck if… directions to your house include "turn off the paved road.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination.

(1912 – 2006) Romanian-born Canadian writer
Canada Insults

A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else; the same with good manners.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Autos New York City Places Things

Every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Places

The typical West of Ireland family consists of father, mother, twelve children and resident Dutch anthropologist.

(1911 – 1966) Irish novelist, dramatist & columnist
People Places

The earth is bipolar.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.

(1888 – 1989) American composer & lyricist
People Places World

The fence around a cemetery is foolish, for those inside can’t get out and those outside don’t want to get in.

(1864 – 1936) American newspaper editor & writer
Death Places

It is not necessary to have relatives in Kansas City to be unhappy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Family Insults Places Relationships

I should mention I’m not actually from Canada; my father was just stationed here during the Vietnam War.

Canadian comedian & author
Canada Places

First of all, I don't see America having problems.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
America Places Problems

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Emotions England Money People Places Wealth

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places