Subject: Problems » Accidents (Page 3)

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

It's hard to describe what it's like to see a stock car flying through the air knowing it's going to land on top of you.

American auto racer

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Things always fall at right angles.

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.