Subject: Problems » Accidents (Page 3)

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Accidents Failure People

I think the homeless have it pretty good because 98% of deadly accidents happen inside the home.

(1982 – ) American stand-up comedian
Accidents People Problems

Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car; it wasn’t serious – nobody saw me.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Accidents Problems

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Accidents Entertainment Problems

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

Accidents Children

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

A dropped object will fall with an acceleration of 32 feet per second per second, and if it is your wallet, it will make every effort to land in a public toilet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor… especially in the dark.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Situations Things

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Things always fall at right angles.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People