Subject: Problems (Page 11)

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Marriage Problems Sex World

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer
Problems Situations TV/Movie Quotes

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is clear, simple, and wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life Problems

I learned in my car that I could not have children; it was the day that I locked my keys in my car with the engine running.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Children Family Mistakes Problems

You never run out of things that can go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll under the car to the vehicle's exact geographic center.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Any bus that can be the wrong bus will be the wrong bus. All others are out of service or full.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.


Memory Murphy’s Laws People Problems Situations

An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.

(1947 – ) American author
Problems

If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once.

Definitions Politicians Problems

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.

(1911 – 1983) playwright
Mistakes Problems

You don't get ulcers from what you eat; you get them from what's eating you.

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Eating Food/Drink Health Problems

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Everything breaks down.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man’s failures.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician
Failure Problems Sports

Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job – it's the start of a brand new series of three.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Work