Subject: Problems (Page 5)

Don't ever make the same mistake twice, unless it pays.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Mistakes Problems

Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.

Problems Proverbs

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

If you're already in a hole, there's no use to continue digging.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

When things are going well, something will go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Fuses never blow during daylight hours.
Corollary: Only after fuses blow do you discover the flashlight batteries are dead and you’re out of candles, or matches, or both.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Accident: Any negligent or malicious behavior performed by someone with a clever lawyer.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions Problems

Washing machines only break down during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Characteristics Intelligence Problems

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs… but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

(1916 – 2000) Egyptian-American academic economist & historian
Failure Problems Situations

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Failure TV/Movie Quotes

General solutions to specific problems become specific problems requiring general solutions.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

When your head is in the bear's mouth, it is not the time to be smacking him on the nose.

Communication Problems

There is always one more bug.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Problems

Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life Problems

A malfunctioning car will stop displaying symptoms of imminent breakdown when driven to within one-quarter mile of a garage.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Like most of those who study history, he [Napoleon III] learned from the mistakes of the past how to make new ones.

(1906 – 1990) British historian
Mistakes Problems

When life gives you lemons, just say ‘Fuck the lemons’ and bail.

(1969 - ) American actor, comedian, & screenwriter
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Things