Subject: Relationships » Dating

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Dating Men People Sex Women

I refuse to go out with a man whose ass is smaller than mine.

(1960 – ) American actress
Dating Men TV/Movie Quotes

We had to break up, though… we wanted different things… like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating Relationships

I like to date school teachers; if you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Dating Sex

If you treat a girl like a dog, she’s going to piss on you.

(1964 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician
Dating Girls People Relationships

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dating Relationships

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine – we were both crazy about girls.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dating Girls People Women

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Dating Relationships

A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event.

American comedian
Dating Relationships Sports

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent; she can't wait to disprove it.

(1904 – 1986) English-American actor
Dating Sex

Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
Dating Relationships Sex

Guys I’ve been meeting have the worst pickup lines, like: “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

(1977 – ) American comedian
Dating Men People Relationships

I wish that there was a restaurant named “I don't care,” so I'd finally know where my girlfriend was talking about.

(1979 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Dating Food/Drink Relationships

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around, and I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
Alcohol Dating Food/Drink Relationships

The other night I went out on a date with a guy who said he didn't like girls who were fragile or vulnerable… so I stabbed him.

comedian
Characteristics Dating Relationships Situations

I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Dating Old People Relationships Women

Many a necklace becomes a noose.

(1888 – 1982) American writer
Dating Marriage Men People Relationships Women

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Dating Men People Relationships

I change girlfriends every seven years, a habit I picked up from broken mirrors.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Dating Girlfriends People Relationships

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Dating Relationships Taxes Work