Subject: Relationships » Dating

In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock; in the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish; in the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black; in the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Dating Girls People Relationships

I date this girl for two years – and then the nagging starts: ‘I wanna know your name…’

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Dating Relationships

Ed, have you noticed that the older you get, the younger your girlfriends get? Soon you’ll be dating sperm.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Dating Relationships

You know what they say: ‘Once you go black… your parents don’t talk to you anymore.'

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating People Relationships

We had to break up, though… we wanted different things… like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating Relationships

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me; I know guys I wouldn’t go out with.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Dating Relationships

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions

Many a necklace becomes a noose.

(1888 – 1982) American writer
Dating Marriage Men People Relationships Women

Dating: An elaborate prelude to mating that fulfills much the same function as the sniffing ritual in dogs, but without its forthright honesty.

Dating Definitions Relationships

How To Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men

Book Titles Dating Relationships

I used to be afraid of relationships; someone would ask me out and I'd say, 'Just take my purse, don't hurt me!'

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Dating Fear Relationships

A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event.

American comedian
Dating Relationships Sports

I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Dating Relationships Sports

When you ask a girl out and she suggest a bar, you're answer shouldn't be “Great, I like that bar and they’ll have the Rockets game on too.”

(1983 – ) American comedian
Dating Relationships

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner; tactics is getting her to drink it.

(1920 – 1998) English comedy writer, radio & television personality
Dating Situations

They say that breaking up is hard to do – but it's much easier with a restraining order and a Rottweiler.

American actress
Dating Relationships

If you treat a girl like a dog, she’s going to piss on you.

(1964 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician
Dating Girls People Relationships

I wish that there was a restaurant named “I don't care,” so I'd finally know where my girlfriend was talking about.

(1979 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Dating Food/Drink Relationships

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Communication Dating Language Speech