Subject: Relationships (Page 14)

Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her. It’s her wedding day.

Joey: What? Like there’s some rule or something?

(1967 – ) American actor & producer
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
History Relationships Time

Burt Reynolds once asked me out… I was in his room.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
People Relationships

The major concrete achievement of the women's movement in the 1970s was the Dutch treat.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Dating Money

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
People Relationships Time Women

My grandfather was actually a Holocaust survivor, and you can tell that it really affected him because to this day, he still will not walk into a gas chamber.

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Relationships Situations

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Relationships

The economy is so bad that I put my wife back on Match.com, just for the free dinners.

comedian
Relationships

Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Family Relationships Situations

I change girlfriends every seven years, a habit I picked up from broken mirrors.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Dating Girlfriends People Relationships

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist – she did everybody.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Dating Relationships Sex

The first time you buy a house you think how pretty it is and sign the check… the second time you look to see if the basement has termites; it's the same with men.

(1908 – 1944) Mexican actress
Men Relationships

Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor & comedian
Family Relationships

Go, and never darken my towels again.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Relationships

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Places Relationships

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Family Relationships

I come from family where gravy is considered a beverage.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Family Food/Drink Relationships

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both seems like carelessness.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Family Parents Relationships

When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face; that's the price she has to pay.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.

Family Proverbs Relationships

My sister just got married; I was the maid of debt in that little event.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Marriage Money Relationships