Subject: Sex (Page 2)

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

(1934 – ) Italian actress

I’m not an expert on masturbation, but I hold my own.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

My girlfriend called me at 11:00 this morning and said “I'm still in bed." … I said, “I know, I’ve had sex with you.”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian

Sex again Peg? … we’ve been married seventeen years now; can’t we just be friends?

(1946 – ) American actor

Why women don’t blink during foreplay… not enough time.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

I feel like a million tonight… but one at a time.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Masturbation is the thinking man’s television.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian

Trust me, ladies, if you knew even for a second how we men really look at you, you would never stop slapping us.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist

Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex.


A dirty book is rarely dusty.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Why go out for milk when you've got a cow at home.

(1946 – ) American actor

I finally just slept with my high school crush; but I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation – like I know where I’m going to be in three years.

(1981 – ) American Comedian

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

She’s cleared her schedule from 7:00 ‘til 7:30 – that means foreplay and cuddling.

(1959 – ) American actor

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Everything that goes up must come down; but there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Once in a restaurant I made a toast to her… “The best woman a man ever had”… the waiter joined me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor