Subject: Sex (Page 25)

Sleeping with George Michael would be like having sex with a groundhog.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Insults Sex

Suzanne, if sex were fast food, there’d be an arch over your bed!

(1939 – 2010) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

And if you had what other men have, I wouldn't need batteries anymore.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

You were born with your legs apart; they'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Insults Sex

Nobody in their right mind would call me a nymphomaniac; I only sleep with good-looking men.

(1954 – ) British poet, novelist, travel writer & journalist
People Relationships Sex

My girlfriend always laughs during sex… no matter what she’s reading.

(1955 –2011) business magnate, co-founder & CEO of Apple
Emotions Girlfriends Laughter Relationships Sex

I’m not an expert on masturbation, but I hold my own.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Sex

How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? … sex is what we want!

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Men Sex

My biggest fantasy in life is to have sex with two women… not in a night, but in my life.

comedian
Sex

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People Sex

Like having a large wardrobe fall on top of you with the key still in the lock.

Sex

Whenever I’m about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that way I don’t have to tell her about my herpes.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Dating Health Sex

I believe that sex is the most wonderful and beautiful thing that money can buy.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money Sex

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators… I left early.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Sex Time

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Dating People Relationships Self Sex

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
People Sex

Adolescence: The age between puberty and adultery.

Age Definitions Sex

It's common courtesy; he's doing most of the work; you've got to encourage him.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Sex

After you say you do… you don’t… for a long time.

(1964 – ) Colombian-American actor, producer, playwright & screenwriter
Marriage Sex

Kinky is using a feather; perverted is using the whole chicken.

Sex

I accidentally walked in on my roommate and his girlfriend having sex; fortunately they didn't see me for almost 10 minutes.

American comedian
Sex Situations