Subject: Sex (Page 6)

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People Sex

Sex is a pleasurable exercise in plumbing, but be careful or you'll get yeast in your drain tap.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
Sex

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Sex

My girlfriend says that she thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover, but she hasn’t been able to catch him at it!

Marriage Sex

Jamie Buchman: Would you please tell Lisa what guys think, when women give in on the first date?

Paul Buchman: [pauses] Yippee?

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Men People Sex Women

The difference between a whore and a congressman is that a congressman makes more money.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Congress Government Sex

My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night; now, we'll never see each other!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Wives

It's common courtesy; he's doing most of the work; you've got to encourage him.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Sex

I don’t care for sex; I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise; I prefer sports, where you can win.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Sex Sports

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

My girlfriend said she wanted me to dominate her; so I said, “OK, let’s play Scrabble.”

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Sex

Group sex… are you kidding, I had group sex… my wife screwed me in front of the jury.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Sex Wives

In sex I like to role play; I like to pretend I’m not paying for it.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sex

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Sex

I'm a man. Men have got another thing… they got waddya call, a carnival instinctuals.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Sex

Masturbation is the thinking man’s television.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Sex

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Situations Time

Losing my virginity was a career move.

(1958 – ) American singer, actress & entrepreneur
Sex Work

I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

The annoying thing about Christmas is running out of batteries because the kids want them for their toys; I’m sorry, but if Christmas is coming – so am I.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Sex Things