Subject: Sex (Page 6)

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Sex

Sex: The formula by which one and one makes three.

Definitions Sex

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

American comedian
Men Relationships Sex Women

My girlfriend wants me to choke her while we’re having sex… but I say, what’s wrong with while we’re having dinner?

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Girlfriends Relationships Sex

I don’t understand the whole concept of a massage; you get a woman to rub all over every single part of your body except the one part you really want rubbed on.

(1968 – ) American comedian, actor & country music artist
Activities Sex

[after sex with the monster] Oh, where you going?… Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you’re out with the boys to boast and brag.

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

It's ill-becoming for an old broad to sing about how bad she wants it… but occasionally we do.

(1917 – 2010) American singer & actress
Entertainment People Sex Women

Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink Sex

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

Don't cook… don’t clean; no man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Housework Sex

She said that after we had intercourse, I gave her an anti-climax.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex

When my old man wanted sex… my mother would show him a picture of me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers Mothers Sex

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

Love is the answer… but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Love Sex

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex

If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humor was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex.

(1973 – ) English actress
Relationships Sex

Gold Medal Specialists. Sprints! Relays! Marathons! Hot and Raring to Go.

Sex Signs Sports

When you've been around as long as me… you'll know that there are three types of sex… One – brand-new, kitchen-table sex; Two – bedroom sex; then number three – hallway sex… when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'f**k you.’

(1958 – ) Australian author
Age Sex

The couple next door have just made a sex tape… obviously, they don’t know that yet.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Sex

I took a girl out on a date the other night and I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Dating Sex

It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be abstinent alone; the Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery…. you can’t masturbate without lust!

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Beliefs Misspokements Religion Sex