Subject: Sports » Football (Page 12)

You guys don't know the difference between a football and a Mercedes-Benz.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

He's the kind of player who usually comes along rarely and sometimes never.

(1927 – ) American football coach

I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.

Australian football player

I told my team it doesn't matter… there are 750 million people in China who don't even know this game was played. The next day, a guy called me from China and asked, 'What happened, Coach?

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Sports is the toy department of human life, and Monday Night Football is the largest attraction in the toy department.

(1918 – 1995) American sports journalist & television commentator

Hollywood made a movie of my life; the film had me proposing to my wife on the football field… I would never misuse a football field that way.

American football player

That is because I don't have one.

American football player

I had a lifetime contract, but the administration declared me dead.

Clemson football coach

Let's go out there and win one for the quipper.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

In football everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.


(1905 – 1980) French existentialist philosopher, playwright & novelist,

We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Some coaches pray for wisdom; I pray for 260-pound tackles… they’ll give me plenty of wisdom.

(1932 – ) American football coach

We have a lot of success with a dumb person calling plays. I'm hesitant to have a smart one call them.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker

Let me know if Cain is able.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

All quitters are good losers.

German-American football coach

Ten thousand bucks if ya knock him outta the game. I don't care if ya hit him with a whiskey bottle when he gets off the bus.

American football player

I know their mother… she'd give them all my plays.

college football coach

It' a once-in-a-lifetime thing that only happens every so often.

American football player

God invented football so grown men would have something to do between wars.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

Remember: Super Bowl is the biggest day of the year for pizza delivery… so no matter what happens in the game, Peyton Manning wins.

(1974 – ) American comedian & impressionist