Subject: Sports (Page 102)

Some teams are fair haired, we're not – some teams are the Smiths, we're the Grabowskis.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Sports

The Mets just had their first .500 or better April since July of 1992.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

One night we play like King Kong, the next night like Fay Wray.

American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

[boxing promoter] Bob Arum is one of the worst people in the western hemisphere. I don't know the eastern hemisphere very well, but I suspect he'd be one of the worst people there too, if he went.

boxing manager & trainer
Boxing Insults Sports

We got to practice a little bit. I want these guys to be bouncing around like a pogo stick on Viagra.

football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Many fans look upon an umpire as a necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

I know my players don't like my practices, but that's OK, because I don't like their games.

Canadian hockey coach, general manager & commentator
Hockey Sports

He's about 3′1″… I tell him to get his nose off my kneecap.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Since my kids were born, I put on a shield. I wanted to keep on seeing them.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I pitch like my hair’s on fire.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I'm not surprised. The referee is a fine Catholic fellow by the name of Patrick Murphy.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

A lot is said about defense, but at the end of the game, the team with the most points wins, the other team loses.

(Bob Costas replied with just, Uh…well…ok.)

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

 When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

They're why the Hubble telescope is pointed away from the earth.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Tall men come down to my height when I hit ‘em in the body.

(1895 – 1983) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The kid looks good in his first game.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

‘Deuce’ is used so you don't have to count so high.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Sports

When those stalls open, the horses are literally going to explode.

British horse racing commentator
Misspokements Sports

If our goalies were in a divorce case, they could sue for lack of support and be millionaires tomorrow.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey Sports

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports