Subject: Sports (Page 103)

Yes, golf can be taught – it’s just that it can’t be learned.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Golf Sports

He can make the ball look so small that you're not even sure why there's a practical reason for being up there.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

These ball boys are marvellous; you don’t even notice them; there’s a left-handed one over there that I noticed earlier.

Tennis commentator
Misspokements Sports

Sparky is the only guy I know who’s written more books than he has read.

baseball broadcaster
Misspokements Reading/Writing Sports

When I drove for British teams… they called me the ‘Tadpole' because I was too small to be a frog.

French auto racer
Auto racing Sports

He has the touch of a gay hairdresser.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

It looks like he has a divot over each ear.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I was hoping I could still be an underwear model after my career is over.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

If you play against him, you hate him; if you play with him, you hate him a little less.

(1964 – ) Venezuelan-American baseball player & manager
Baseball Insults Sports

I can tell you it’s a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

I don't know what impressive is, but Joe was impressive tonight.

wife of fighter Joe Bugner
Boxing Misspokements Sports

It’s basically the same, just darker.

stock car racer
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

He has turned defensive boxing into a poetic art; trouble is, nobody ever knocked anybody out with a poem.

Blues saxophonist
Boxing Sports

If there’s a pileup, they’ll have to give some of the players artificial insemination.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'


Basketball Occupations Sports Work

I’m a professor in the school of how to break the racket.

Croatian professional tennis player
Sports

My sport is about 90 percent strength and 40 per cent technique.

Wrist-wrestling champion
Misspokements Sports

All the Padres need is a flyball in the air.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.

football broadcaster
Football Misspokements Sports

Knuckleball: A curveball that doesn't give a damn.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Baseball Sports

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports