Subject: Sports (Page 122)

I believed in drug testing a long time ago… all through the Sixties I tested everything.

American baseball pitcher
Activities Baseball Drugs Sports

The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

One of the worst things that can happen to you in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age.

American billiards champion & hustler
Activities Sports

Exciting plays occur only while you are watching the scoreboard or out buying a hot dog.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

My coach said I ran like a girl, I said if he could run a little faster he could too.

1972 – ) American soccer player
Sports Women

If Mike Tyson gets any better, he’ll be hitting Lou Rawls while he sings the National Anthem.

American television personality
Boxing Sports

They said it would last two rounds; they were half right, it lasted four.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Tyson fights like you stole something from him or said something nasty about his family.

boxing promoter
Boxing Sports

Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.

Golf Misspokements Sports

You can always get someone to do your thinking for you.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

I didn’t hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

Maybe that will distract the Falcon quarterback.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position… he’s in last place.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

There was three minutes to go about two minutes ago.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports Time

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel’s suitcase.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

Hawaii doesn’t win many games in the United States.

Indiana University football coach & sports commentator
Football Misspokements Sports

I'd have a better chance of catching flies with chopsticks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I won't say Wilt Chamberlain is the strongest man I've ever known, but when he wipes the sweat off his brow, people in the balcony get a bath.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Think?… how the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports Thinking Yogi-isms

Bert's wallet is like an onion. Any time he opens it, he starts crying.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I don’t have any tricky plays, I’d rather have tricky players.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports