Subject: Sports (Page 122)

Three things can happen when you put a [foot]ball in the air – and two of them are bad.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Football Sports

He's not twins.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.’

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Fat Sports

The referee is the most important man in the ring besides the two fighters.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Misspokements Sports

We had a very scientific system of bringing in relief pitchers. We used the first one who answered the phone.

American baseball pitcher & pitching coach
Baseball Sports

Every time I get injured, my wife ends up pregnant.

Canadian hockey player & general manager
Hockey Sports

Gentlemen, start your coffins.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Auto racing Sports

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. 

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

We are not going to be any three-clouds-and-a-yard-of-dust team.

football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

This is something that probably doesn't happen in Tom Landry's office.

American football coach
Football Sports

If I get run into again, I'm taking someone with me. I lost one knee. I'll take a head if it happens again.

Canadian hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Definitions Golf Sports

Because she is too damn ugly to kiss goodbye.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Sports

Everybody wants a piece of the cake, but my cake has no slices.

Swedish boxing champion
Boxing Sports

In Willie DeWit, we have an all-American boy, even though he is a Canadian.

Boxing Misspokements Sports

Boxing is just show business with blood.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

You have really solidified the Mets' centerfield problem.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Two hundred million Americans, and there ain’t two good catchers among ‘em.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
America Baseball People Sports

War is hell, but expansion is worse.

hockey coach
Hockey Sports

I just stood there watching him walk past and thinking, ‘I don’t know what that is, but I know there weren’t two of them on Noah’s Ark.’

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports