Subject: Sports (Page 35)

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports Things

You know you’re getting old when you start watching golf on TV and enjoying it.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Age Entertainment Golf Old Television

If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs they’ve had a bad day.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

Panthers Destroy Viking Visitors

Headlines Sports

I'm glad it's him and not some other puke.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

When Lew was a twenty game winner for the Milwaukee Braves, people needed three columns for his pitching record: won, lost and relative humidity.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

I can tell you one thing. I've done this my way. I don't have anybody to blame for this win but me, and I love it.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

My goal is to deny yours.

Hockey Sports

He is not in a union; he can carry the ball as many times as we want him to… anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

But if you figure in the wind chill factor, it’s only 102.

professional golfer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

We’re not afraid of challenges. It’s like we always say: if you want to go out in the rain, be prepared to get burned.

Mixed metaphors Sports

He hits from both sides of the plate; he’s amphibious.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

Sometimes Howard makes me wish I was a dog and he was a fireplug.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.’

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Fat Sports

My clubs are well used, but unfortunately not used well.

Golf Sports

My three best punches were the choke hold, the rabbit punch and the head butt.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

Sports

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Appearance Golf Sports

The Rangers dropped out of the lead June 16 with a loss that will be forever remembered as the forgettable debut of lefthander Matt Perisho.

sports reporter
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The game is too long, the season is too long and the players are too long.

American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports