Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 79)
Nice guys finish last.
Leo Durocher
(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball
Sports
There are younger Aztec ruins.
Bill Conlin
sportswriter & newspaper columnist
Age
Baseball
Old
Sports
On pitcher Vicente Romo
In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw – Marblehead.
Howie Long
American football player & commentator
Football
Sports
Terry Bradshaw
You'll pardon me gentlemen if I make the fight short. I have a train to catch.
Sam Langford
Canadian boxer
Boxing
Sports
Before one of his boxing matches to the the crowd – he then knocked out his opponent in the first round and promptly left for the station – and caught the train!
God's busy; they'll have to make do with me.
John McKay
(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football
Sports
When asked if his team prayed for victory
There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.
Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer
(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball
Sports
About a player thrown out attempting to steal second.
I sight down my nose to shoot, and now my nose isn't straight since I broke it. That's why my shooting has been off.
Barrie Haynie
American basketball player
Appearance
Basketball
Body
Sports
Nose
Shooting
They are like hot air dryers in public lavatories. They are a good idea, but take too long.
David Feherty
(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf
Sports
On Jack Nicklaus designed golf courses
Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
I’ve been in the twilight of my career longer than most people have had a career.
Martina Navratilova
(1956 – ) Czech American tennis player
Sports
Time
Careers
Tennis
He hit me 18 times while I was in the act of falling.
Max Baer
(1909–1959) American boxing champion
Sports
Of Joe Louis
Lennox Lewis has two chances of getting a rematch with McCall – no chance and slim. And slim has just left town.
Don King
(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Boxing
Sports
After Lennox Lewis lost his world title to Oliver McCall
Once we were whining losers, but now we’re arrogant winners.
Chuck Burr
Buffalo Bills public relations man
Characteristics
Misspokements
Sports
Losing
Winning
I never thought you could win a Pulitzer just for quoting Tommy Lasorda correctly.
Jim Murray
(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball
Communication
People
Reading/Writing
Self
Sports
Pulitzer Prize
If a man can f**k and drive race cars… man… I mean, what else-is there?
Billy Scott
American auto racer
Auto racing
Sex
Sports
Not everyone likes sports… Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.
Jay Mohr
(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Sports
The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals.
Christopher Lloyd
(1938 – ) American actor
Boxing
Sports
TV/Movie Quotes
As Jim Ignatowski in “Taxi”
You've got to come in with more than a left hook and a bad haircut to beat Lennox Lewis.
Lennox Lewis
British and Canadian boxing champion
Boxing
Sports
Career highlights?… I had two; I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Self
Sports
Career
I wouldn’t give him a high fastball or a fast highball.
Gene Mauch
(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball
Sports
On how to pitch to Dick Allen
I’d like to help you, but you don’t drink.
Bob Lemon
professional baseball player & manager
Alcohol
Baseball
Sports
To Don Kessinger when asked for advice on managing
Page 79 of 125
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