Subject: Time (Page 22)

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

It’s not perfect, but to me on balance Right Now is a lot better than the Good Old Days.

(1939 – 2012) Irish writer & speaker

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

If, in the course of several months, if only three worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on the same evening.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

What is history but a set of lies agreed upon.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician

The future ain’t what it used to be.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.

(1870 – 1924) Russian revolutionary, politician & political theorist

I used to do drugs; I still do, but I used to, too.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never sure.

During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist

He asked me if I knew what time it was… I said, “Yes, but not right now.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.

American baseball player

The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist

If you wait, it will go away.

That’s history; I say history because it happened in the past.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

There’s no future in time travel.

The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.

(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist

Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

History: An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist