Subject: Time (Page 23)

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death Things Time

If you have something to do and you put it off for long enough, the chances are someone else will do it for you.

Murphy’s Laws Time

The distance to the gate from which your flight departs is inversely proportional to the time remaining before the scheduled departure of the flight.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

There can’t be a crisis next week, my schedule is already full.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Situations Time

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

I just don’t want you to do nothing on the sperm of the moment.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Time

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Government President Time

He is accelerating all the time; the last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports Time

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Conflict Future Things Time War

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Money Time

If, in the course of several months, if only three worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on the same evening.

Time

Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Clothing Misspokements Time

It’s not only a race against the clock but a race against time itself.

Misspokements Time

We don’t want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Future Misspokements Past Speech

Progress is made on alternate Fridays.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Howard: It was an hour ago, Sheldon. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas for that long, for sale signs start to go up.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Time TV/Movie Quotes

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Age Communication Speech Time

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Politicians Speech Time

What happens when the future has come and gone?

businessman
Future Time