Subject: Time (Page 27)

I couldn’t care less about all those fiction stories about what happened in the year 1500 or 1600. Half of them aren’t even true.

professional golfer
History Misspokements Time

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Situations Time

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics Time

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Time Truth Wives

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Age Death Murphy’s Laws Time Young

Most people still believe in a hard day’s work, but they also believe it should be spread out over the course of a week or two.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Time Work

If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Time

The distance to the gate from which your flight departs is inversely proportional to the time remaining before the scheduled departure of the flight.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

Proverbs Time

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance Family Past Relationships Situations Things Time

No man goes before his time… unless the boss leaves early.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals People Time Work

When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

It’s always darkest before… daylight savings time.

Proverbs Situations Time

You will save yourself a lot of needless worry if you don't burn your bridges until you come to them.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Activities Time

It is a sobering thought, that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Age Life Success Time

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is — he’s the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Death Future People Time

Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.

(1930 – ) economist, social commentator & author
History Time

History: An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions History Time

It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Success Time

I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking; but I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going.

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Communication Speech Time