TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 47)

We Romans are rich. We’ve got a lot of gods. We’ve got a god for everything. The only thing we don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation but I hear that’s coming quickly.

Mel Brooks

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

Norm

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Beer TV/Movie Quotes As Norm Peterson in “Cheers”

Paul: Would somebody like to listen to my announcement?
[his daughter Kerry: Switched at birth. Please say I was switched at birth.

Amy Davidson

(1979 – ) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Kerry Hennessy in 8 Simple Rules

There must be a mistake: you’ve accidentally given me the food my food eats.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” When served a plate of vegetables

Nothing Eyetalian because it causes garlic stones.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Gall stones Italian

I don’t care if he’s rich or poor, fat or thin, as long as he’s rich and thin.

Sean Hayes

(1970 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Jack McFarland on “Will & Grace” Describing his ideal man

This is what I spent all those years learning my ABDs for?

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes ABCs As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”

With the shape I’m in, you could donate my body to science fiction.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Thornton Melon in “Back to School”

You wanna talk that Russian talk, take yourself back over to the USSO.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes USSR

Marge, your cooking only has two moves: Shake and Bake.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Cooking TV/Movie Quotes

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” Bacon & eggs

Good Lord I can’t believe I’m at a public pool. Why doesn’t someone just directly pee on me?

Megan Mullally

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Karen Walker on “Will & Grace”

Phoebe: Today is Mike and my one year anniversary.
Rachel: Oh! What’s it the anniversary of? Your first date? Your first kiss? The first time you had sex?
Phoebe: Yeah.

Lisa Kudrow

(1963 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

TV/Movie Quotes As Phoebe in “Friends”

Bart: I better go check out this Mongo character. [and reaches for his gun]
Jim: Oh no, don’t do that, don’t do that. If you shoot him, you’ll just make him mad.

Gene Wilder

(1933 – ) American comic actor, director, screenwriter & author

TV/Movie Quotes

Lester: If you play your cards right, you could have my body.
Halley Reed: Wouldn’t you rather leave it to science?

Mia Farrow

(1945 – ) American model, activist & actress

Body TV/Movie Quotes As Halley Reed in “Crimes and Misdemeanors”

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

Matt LeBlanc

(1967 – ) American actor & producer

Relationships TV/Movie Quotes As Joey in “Friends”

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

Jennifer Saunders

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress

Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes As Edina (Eddie) in “Absolutely Fabulous”

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Women

Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes

That woman’s as cold as a nudist on an iceberg.

Foghorn Leghorn

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)

Insults TV/Movie Quotes Personality

Harry: Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must be retaining water.
Sally: Harry.
Harry: Believe me, the woman saved everything.

Billy Crystal

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director

TV/Movie Quotes As Harry Burns in “When Harry Met Sally...”

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Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 47)

We Romans are rich. We’ve got a lot of gods. We’ve got a god for everything. The only thing we don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation but I hear that’s coming quickly.

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

Paul: Would somebody like to listen to my announcement?
[his daughter Kerry: Switched at birth. Please say I was switched at birth.

There must be a mistake: you’ve accidentally given me the food my food eats.

Nothing Eyetalian because it causes garlic stones.

I don’t care if he’s rich or poor, fat or thin, as long as he’s rich and thin.

This is what I spent all those years learning my ABDs for?

With the shape I’m in, you could donate my body to science fiction.

You wanna talk that Russian talk, take yourself back over to the USSO.

Marge, your cooking only has two moves: Shake and Bake.

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

Good Lord I can’t believe I’m at a public pool. Why doesn’t someone just directly pee on me?

Phoebe: Today is Mike and my one year anniversary.
Rachel: Oh! What’s it the anniversary of? Your first date? Your first kiss? The first time you had sex?
Phoebe: Yeah.

Bart: I better go check out this Mongo character. [and reaches for his gun]
Jim: Oh no, don’t do that, don’t do that. If you shoot him, you’ll just make him mad.

Lester: If you play your cards right, you could have my body.
Halley Reed: Wouldn’t you rather leave it to science?

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice.

Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

That woman’s as cold as a nudist on an iceberg.

Harry: Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must be retaining water.
Sally: Harry.
Harry: Believe me, the woman saved everything.