Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 73)

Alex Rieger: It’s so quiet up here you can hear yourself think.

(1938 – ) American actor
Intelligence Thinking TV/Movie Quotes

Drinking doesn’t cause hangovers; stopping drinking causes hangovers.

(1937 – 2001) American actor, writer, producer & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

I always get the feeling that when lesbians are looking at me, they’re thinking, “That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.”

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Parking at a garage is like going to a prostitute. Why pay for it when you can apply yourself, and then may be you can get it for free.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

If brains was lard, Jethro couldn't grease a pan.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

Incidentally, [Carla] I’ve taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I’ll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint.

(1958 – ) American actress, musician & dancer
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

You painted us into a corner, then you threw away the key.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

Raj: Do you believe you’re going to go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?

Howard: Jews don’t have hell. We have acid reflux.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

I could dance with you until the cows come home… on second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marching across your face.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Time TV/Movie Quotes

What do they think I am? Dumb or something? Why, I make more money than… than… than Calvin Coolidge! Put together!

(1923 – 1977) American film actress
TV/Movie Quotes

So… you still desire me after all these years? The old ball and chain?
Gomez: Forever!
Morticia: I’ll get them!

(1951 – ) American actress & director
TV/Movie Quotes

Nancy: My lawyer will call your lawyer.

Allan: I don’t have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Insurance is like marriage – you pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. [He suddenly grabs her and pulls her down onto a couch]

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

It’s like my brain and my penis are locked in a chess match and I’m letting Him win.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

My uncle had a problem with his probate and he had to take these big pills and drink lots of water.

cartoon character in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Charles Fleischer)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Ambassador Trentino: I didn’t come here to be insulted!

Rufus T. Firefly: That’s what you think!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge, darling?

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Prosecutor: Chicolini, when were you born?
Chicolini: I don’t-a remember. I was just a little baby.

(1887 – 1961) comedian, actor & member of the Marx Brothers
TV/Movie Quotes