Subject: Work

… there are three sexes – men, women, and clergymen.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Occupations People

The one who says it can’t be done shouldn’t interrupt the one doing it.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Ninety-nine per cent of the work of the professional bodyguard consisted of one activity: frowning.

(1949 – ) English novelist
Occupations Work

First of all, I choose the great [roles], and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and if they don't come, I choose the ones that pay the rent.

(1933 – ) English actor
Acting Entertainment Film Work

If a job’s worth doing, make sure you delegate it to the right person.

Work

Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

Animals Dogs Murphy’s Laws Situations Work

The two most important jobs in America are held by foreigners – room service and goal-kicking.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Occupations People Sports Work

Professionals built the Titanic; amateurs built the ark.

People Work

There are two essential rules of management:
One: the customer is always right.
Two: they must be punished for their arrogance.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you’re away and get nothing done, there’s another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

(1869 – 1946) American bridge builder & engineer
Activities Work

If you don’t have a bad back by the time you’re 60, then you haven’t done anything in your life.

baseball manager
Health Work

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

The pay is good and I can walk to work.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Government Occupations President Work

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Definitions Occupations

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Emotions Food/Drink Love Mothers Work

The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? … plutonium hat model.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
Occupations Work

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

(1913 – 1996) Hungarian mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

You know it’s time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Housework Work

Faustino the Great: How long you study music?
Mr. Lyons: Fifteen years.
Faustino the Great: Fifteen? … You know, two more years, you could’ve been a plumber.

(1887 – 1961) comedian, actor & member of the Marx Brothers
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

(1933 – 1997) Anglo-French billionaire financier
Money Work

Taxidermist: A man who mounts animals.

Animals Definitions Occupations