Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 8)

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.

American computer programmer

Putting an ex-fighter in the business world is like putting silk stockings on a pig.

boxing manager, trainer & cornerman

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, “I wanna grow up and be a critic.”

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor

Nurses: Patient people.

If a scientist were to cut his ear off, no one would take it as evidence of a heightened sensibility.

(1915 – 1987) Brazilian/British biologist

Most anybody can be a cowboy, but it takes a damn genius to make money at it.

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

The relationionship of an agent to a publisher is that of a knife to a throat.

(1927 – ) American Talent & literary agency executive

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

I used to be a mime…. but now I can talk about it…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Never trust a ventriloquist or a barber.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

I've seldom seen a horny player walk into a bar and not let out exactly what he did for a living.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

It’s the gossip columnist’s business to write about what is none of his business.

(1904 – 1980) American critic & author

Diplomat: A headwaiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. 

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author