Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 10)

History repeats itself; historians repeat each other.

(1889 – 1944) English historian
History Occupations Time

What’s interesting about sports writers is that they don’t know how to play sports, and a lot of them don’t know how to write.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description.

(1953 – ) American author, journalist & opinion columnist
Occupations Work

We’re all endowed with God-given talents… mine happens to be hitting people in the head.

American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports

You think when gym teachers are younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Education Occupations Work

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Definitions Occupations

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

Education Occupations Work

She was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.

Definitions Occupations Work

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Definitions Occupations

Actuary: Someone who cannot stand the excitement of chartered accountancy.

Occupations Work

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

The two most important jobs in America are held by foreigners – room service and goal-kicking.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Occupations People Sports Work

Working at the Job center has to be a tense job… knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.


Occupations Work

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

Auditor: A person who goes in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.

Definitions Occupations

I've seldom seen a horny player walk into a bar and not let out exactly what he did for a living.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player
Baseball Occupations Sex Sports Work

A professional is one who does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work