Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 7)

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Government Lawyers Occupations Work

Businessman: One who talks golf all morning at the office, and business all afternoon on the links.

Definitions Golf Occupations

Interior Decorator: A man who does things to your house he wouldn’t dream of doing to his own.

Definitions Occupations

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

Since I didn't want to go round mugging old ladies or robbing banks, I took up boxing.

English boxer
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

If I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

(1803 – 1857) English writer
Death Insults Occupations People Work

A critic is a legless man who teaches running.

(1880 – 1946) American playwright, critic & writer
Communication Occupations Work

Seven months ago I could give a single command and 541,000 people would immediately obey it; today I can’t get a plumber to come to my house.

(1934 – 2012) United States Army general
Occupations Success Work

Four hundred bucks an hour for being sort of nice to sad people.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Doctors Health Money Occupations

Acting: A good training for political life; the only problem is the speeches are harder to learn.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

Hardening and Tempering Engineers’ Tools

Book Titles Occupations Work

Telemarketer: A minimum waged person who calls a bunch of people on a list to sell them something that they probably don’t need, and gets hung up on because the person being called usually has a mouth full of food.

Definitions Occupations

People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.

(1946 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

I’m a character actor, which is a polite way of saying ‘ugly.’

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Occupations Ugly Work

There may be said to be three sorts of lawyers, able, unable, and lamentable.

(1805 – 1864) English editor, novelist & sporting writer
Lawyers Occupations Work

It’s the gossip columnist’s business to write about what is none of his business.

(1904 – 1980) American critic & author
Communication Occupations Work