Subject: Work (Page 26)

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

There's no real need to do housework – after four years it doesn't get any worse.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Housework Situations Work

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health Occupations Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you’re away and get nothing done, there’s another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

(1869 – 1946) American bridge builder & engineer
Activities Work

There are two essential rules of management:
One: the customer is always right.
Two: they must be punished for their arrogance.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Work

Next to the writer of real estate advertisements, the autobiographer is the most suspect of prose artists.

(1921 – 2012) American music critic & journalist
Books Communication Occupations Work

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

(1847 – 1931) American inventor, scientist & businessman
Work

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Housework Work

It's on the other side.

Things Work

Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: air conditioning… problem solved.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Work

The Lord taught me to love everybody, but the last ones I learned to love were the sportswriters.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Occupations Sports Work

We are paid to have dirty minds.

(1903 – 1986) American film censor
Entertainment Film Occupations Work