Author: Anonymous Page 102

Asylum: A refuge where unusual people are protected from the world.

Definitions

Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.

Definitions Doctors Health

Spare the rod, spoil the broth.

Mixed metaphors

I once knew a woman who offered her honor, so I honored her offer, and all night long I was on her and off her.

Sex Wordplay

“I’d better repeat that SOS message,” said Tom remorsefully.

Tom Swifties

The menu was frozen in the amber of 1973.

Mixed metaphors

What are you incinerating?

Malaprops

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

It was so cold… my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

“I invested in a hi-tech startup,” Tom ventured.

Tom Swifties

Impossible: What nobody can do until somebody does it.

Definitions

Intimacy: The first step toward parenthood.

Definitions

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Ambulance: A vehicle used to show lawyers where the accident is.

Definitions

Tact: The ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Communication Definitions

“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.

Tom Swifties

Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world.

Definitions People

Don't count your chickens until you see the whites of their eyes.

Mixed metaphors

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Major: Area of study that no longer interests you.

Definitions Education Learning

Idle hands are the mother of invention.

Mixed metaphors