Author: Anonymous Page 112

I wouldn't buy your book if you gave it to me.

Misspokements Reviews/Criticism

A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.

Work

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

Definitions Government Taxes

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Definitions

Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

Definitions

Your being Sir Anthony's son, would itself be a sufficient accommodation.

Malaprops

Married at the hip

Mixed metaphors

He’s so crooked that when he dies, they’re going to have to screw him into the ground.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.

Definitions Golf Sports

Plan to be spontaneous… tomorrow.

Characteristics Time

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink

“Why is this telephone flex always tangled?” asked Tom coyly.

Tom Swifties

We seem to have unleased a hornet's nest.

Malaprops Situations

Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? … because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

Health

Quiet: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

Children Definitions Family

Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.

Definitions Golf Sports

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations

I'm feeling lack-a-daisy today.

Malaprops

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

Clothing Definitions

“I’m swimming in the middle of Paris!” shouted Tom insanely.

Tom Swifties

“I wouldn’t mind going with you to the tennis match,” she said gamely.

Tom Swifties