Author: Anonymous Page 151

Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good;   (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Definitions Men People Women

Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.

Communication Definitions Speech

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

He goes to church on Sunday, steals chickens on Monday.

Beliefs Expressions Honesty

Puttering: Woman’s word for man’s work.

Definitions

News: The same thing happening today that happened yesterday, but to different people.

Definitions

“I hate math,” Tom added.

Tom Swifties

Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Autos Definitions Things

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Activities Definitions Games

Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.

Communication Definitions Language

… has eaten into the grocery chain’s luxury food side.

Mixed metaphors

“The phone reception here is excellent,” he said clearly.

Tom Swifties

You look like you have been drug through a knot hole backwards.

Appearance Expressions

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

Definitions Wordplay

There’s no future in time travel.

Activities Future Past Time Travel

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

Window: A looking-out glass.

Definitions Things

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly