Author: Anonymous Page 151

An apple a day doesn’t from the tree.

Mixed metaphors

“Now no-one can detect my halitosis,” said Tom breathlessly.

Tom Swifties

Reformer: One who wants his conscience to be your guide.

Definitions

Detour: The roughest distance between two points.

Activities Definitions Travel

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.

Money

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

“I could stand to lose 50% of my body weight”, said Tom affably.

Tom Swifties

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

Definitions

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

“We can’t have this and eat it too,” said Tom archaically.

Tom Swifties

You hit the nail right on the nose.

Mixed metaphors

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

Analysis: An excuse to take something to pieces to see how it works.

Definitions

Book Jacket: A fable of contents.

Definitions

He is so stupid… mind readers charge him half price.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

Age Exaggerations Old

“I’m the butcher’s assistant,” said Tom cuttingly.

Tom Swifties

Bridge is the only game that bruises more shins than hockey.

Activities Games

“I’m just an ordinary soldier,” Tom admitted privately.

Tom Swifties

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women