Author: Anonymous Page 31

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

Children Family

Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

Appearance Body Definitions

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.

Sex

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.

Definitions Health Wordplay

I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.

Mixed metaphors

Consultant: Someone who knows 101 ways to make love, but can’t get a date.

Definitions

Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.

Body Definitions

One way to get a real kick out of bridge is to sit opposite your wife.

Activities Games

“My bicycle wheel is damaged,” said Tom outspokenly.

Tom Swifties

“That certainly took the wind out of my sails!” said Tom disgustedly.

Tom Swifties

Cross-Eyed Teacher: A teacher that loses control over his or her pupils.

Definitions

Harder’n baptizing a cat.

Expressions

“I want to be your best friend,” Tom said doggedly.

Tom Swifties

“This pencil tip is dull,” she said pointedly.

Tom Swifties

After looking at the bill for my operation, I understand why doctors wear masks in the operating room.

Doctors Health

Chiropractor: A doctor who works his fingers to the bone… yours.

Definitions Doctors

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

“I won’t buy a circuit breaker,” Tom refused.

Tom Swifties

“I really don’t like tending the garden,” he said witheringly.

Tom Swifties