Author: Anonymous Page 37

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Characteristics

Dieting is not a piece of cake.

Food/Drink

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Consultant: Someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Definitions

It looks like the cows have come home to roost.

Mixed metaphors

Fountain pen: A writing instrument that works marvelously in the store.

Definitions Things

She is so slow… she has to speed up to stop.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

Definitions Things

His car is so expensive that instead of a stereo, Pavaratti takes requests from the back seat.

Autos Exaggerations Things

Communist: One who has yearnings for equal division of unequal earnings.

Definitions

Diplomat: A person who can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.

Definitions

Average Person: One who thinks someone else is the average person.

Definitions People

Applause before a speaker begins his talk is an act of faith; applause during the speech is an act of hope; applause after he has concluded is an act of charity.

Communication Speech

”..,” said Tom blankly.

Tom Swifties

Sympathizer: A fellow that’s for you as long as it doesn’t cost anything.

Definitions

“That young insect is male,” said Tom buoyantly.

Tom Swifties

Raining like a sieve

Mixed metaphors

Discretion: A sense that comes to a man too late to do him any good.

Definitions

He's got too many oars in the fire.

Misspokements

Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Children Definitions Education

He is so short… he poses for trophies.

Appearance Body Exaggerations