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Consultant: Someone who borrows your watch then tells you what time it is.

Definitions

Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.

Characteristics Money

Antique: An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of,  and you're buying again.

Definitions Things

Silicone Treatment: The bust that money can buy.

Appearance Body Definitions

A good idea is one that hits the other fellow with a bolt of envy.

Ideas Intelligence

Management: A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more-talented underlings.

Definitions Work

“I decided which car to purchase after looking at the pictures,” said Tom autobiographically.

Tom Swifties

Farmer: The only man who can lose money every year, live well, educate his children, and then die rich.

Definitions

Forger: A man who made a name for himself.

Definitions

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Government Law Lawyers

Everybody had some antidotes to tell.

Malaprops Speech

Remember Pearl Island.

Malaprops Places

Up a tree without a paddle.

Mixed metaphors

Courtship: A man pursuing a woman until she catches him.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Among the many remedies that won’t cure a cold, the most common is advice.

Beliefs Health

Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Definitions Wordplay

Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

That guy is a wolf in cheap clothing.

Mixed metaphors

Microsoft™ is thoroughly dropping the ball on that front.

Mixed metaphors

Unabated: A fishhook without a worm.

Definitions

“I’m swimming in the middle of Paris!” shouted Tom insanely.

Tom Swifties