Author: Anonymous Page 40

“I guess she fell off the motorcycle,” said Tom ruthlessly.

Tom Swifties

Bargain: Something you can’t use, at a price you can’t resist.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Characteristics

Monarch: A king with a good publicity man.

Definitions

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist’s bills.

Definitions

Admiral: A general at sea.

Definitions Military

Don’t cast swine before bears.

Mixed metaphors

“Phew! I’ve just finished learning all Shakespeare’s works,” said Tom willfully.

Tom Swifties

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties

“Are you homosexual?” Tom queried gaily.

Tom Swifties

“My fellow Americans,” boomed Ronald Reagan, “I have just signed legislation to outlaw the state of Russia for ever…”

Tom Swifties

I have taken many of God's blessings for granite.

Malaprops

We’ll do this individually as a group.

Mixed metaphors

Diet: Something you keep putting off while you keep putting on.

Definitions Food/Drink

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol Food/Drink Health Life

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.

Animals Definitions Dogs

She is so fat… at the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

“Let’s take a vacation in the south of France,” said Tom nicely.

Tom Swifties

“I can no longer hear anything,” said Tom deftly.

Tom Swifties

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Definitions Money

That's putting the chicken before the cart.

Mixed metaphors