Author: Anonymous Page 41

“I’ve still got two fingers left,” said Tom handsomely.

Tom Swifties

Insomnia: contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Boomerang: A working model of poetic justice.

Things

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Glutton: A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink People

Time may be a great healer, but’s it’s a lousy beautician.

Appearance Health Time

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

… create a little dysentery in the ranks.

Malaprops

The guy just couldn’t cut the custard.

Mixed metaphors

Sadist: A person who is kind to a masochist.

Definitions People Wordplay

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.

Clothing Definitions

“I’ve got another @#$%*! insect in my pants”, said Tom adamantly.

Tom Swifties

“And to think I swallowed that lie, hook, line and sinker!” Tom gulped.

Tom Swifties

“Boy, that’s an ugly hippopotamus!” said Tom hypocritically.

Tom Swifties

It's clear to see who makes the pants here.

Malaprops Marriage

“Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I sleep in a wigwam; Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends I sleep in a teepee”, said Tom very attentively.

Tom Swifties

He was a very immortal person.

Characteristics Malaprops

Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.

Communication Definitions Speech

Professor: A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor.

Definitions Education

“I can see through the window,” said Tom stiltedly.

Tom Swifties

An Irishman is not drunk as long as he still has a blade of grass to hang onto.

Alcohol Food/Drink People