Author: Anonymous Page 57

Noise: Earitation.

Definitions

“Hey, you’re on my foot!” said Tom standoffishly.

Tom Swifties

Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.

Definitions

“I just bought a woollen sweater,” said Tom sheepishly.

Tom Swifties

“I have to wear this cast for another six weeks,” said Tom disjointedly.

Tom Swifties

Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.

Money

Fine Print: A clause for suspicion.

Definitions

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

Discretion: When you are sure you are right and then ask your wife.

Definitions

Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.

Sex

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

“Eating uranium can cause strange effects,” said Tom brightly.

Tom Swifties

X: The signature of a happy man.

Definitions

Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

“Do you think I’m a dull person?” Tom asked bluntly.

Tom Swifties

If you don't like my opinion of you – improve yourself!

Beliefs Insults Opinion

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

Definitions

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

“I have three houses, and I’m going to buy another,” said Tom forebodingly.

Tom Swifties