Author: Anonymous Page 57

“Someday I’ll run the CIA,” said Tom aspiringly.

Tom Swifties

Knitting: An exercise that gives women something to do when they are talking.

Activities Definitions

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Intelligence Memory

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

Chicken: An egg factory.

Animals Definitions

She couldn’t catch a cold if it had handles.

Expressions

It's as easy as falling off a piece of cake.

Mixed metaphors

Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

Emotions Love Sex

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

I'll bet she has her clothes made by Orville, the tent maker.

Malaprops

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

Definitions Golf Sports

Argument: A discussion where two people try to get the last word in first

Definitions

Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

Death Definitions

“I can’t march any more!” the soldier called haltingly.

Tom Swifties

It's like pulling hen's teeth.

Mixed metaphors

The monkey is in your court.

Mixed metaphors

“Can I go looking for the Grail again?” Tom requested.

Tom Swifties

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

The father of the bride should realize he isn’t losing a daughter but gaining a bathroom.

Family Marriage

“Here’s another baseball glove”, Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Intelligence