Author: Anonymous Page 69

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Definitions Marriage

Karaoke: Japanese for “Drunk with Microphone.”

Definitions Entertainment

Look what the cat dragged out of the bag.

Mixed metaphors

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Definitions Family

Taking over the reigns of leadership.

Malaprops

Communist: A guy who borrows your pot to cook your goose.

Definitions

“It’s homemade soup,” said Tom uncannily.

Tom Swifties

Long road to hoe.

Mixed metaphors

“I presented my case to the judge,” Tom said briefly.

Tom Swifties

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

He’s so skinny, his pants had only one back pocket.

Appearance Body Expressions

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

It will have a special time on our plate.

Misspokements

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Definitions

Apex: A gorilla’s old girlfriend.

Definitions Wordplay

They think they can do the portrait in one setting.

Malaprops

People are dying like hotcakes.

Mixed metaphors

Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage