Author: Anonymous Page 82

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

Idiot: A man who sees your point in an argument but refuses to see your way.

Definitions Intelligence

“Why shouldn’t I stir my yoghurt with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.

Tom Swifties

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

Tom Swifties

Camp: Where parents spend $1,000 for eight weeks to teach their child to make a 25-cent ash tray.

Definitions

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Characteristics

“I’ll take that”, said Tom appropriately.

Tom Swifties

“This oar is broken,” said Tom robustly.

Tom Swifties

Nothing out of the unusual

Mixed metaphors

He looks like a bag of antlers.

Appearance Body Expressions

It was so cold… I chipped a tooth on my soup.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

Flashlight: A case for storing dead batteries.

Definitions Things

Antique: Something too old to be anything but too expensive.

Definitions Things

A journey of a thousand miles keeps the doctor away.

Mixed metaphors

After-Dinner Speaker: A person who only has a few words to say, but seldom stops when he has said them.

Definitions

People are dying like hotcakes.

Mixed metaphors

I have taken many of God's blessings for granite.

Malaprops

Now you have hit it on the head with the nail.

Mixed metaphors

He’s a wolf in cheap clothing.

Malaprops