Author: Anonymous Page 90

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Government Intelligence Law

AAA-AA: A club for people who are being driven to drink.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

“There’s no need for silence,” Tom allowed.

Tom Swifties

“I wouldn’t like anything but just that,” said Tom wantonly.

Tom Swifties

False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.

Definitions

She's skating on thin water.

Mixed metaphors

Television Programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.

Definitions Entertainment

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

“It’s a unit of electric current,” said Tom amply.

Tom Swifties

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

Beliefs Definitions People

“I’m swimming in the middle of Paris!” shouted Tom insanely.

Tom Swifties

Behold, this very day, I have interceded another letter from the fellow.

Malaprops

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

Characteristics Intelligence Situations Understanding

“We must hurry,” said Tom Swiftly.

Tom Swifties

Hospital: A place where people who are run down wind up..

Definitions

“The sun is rising,” Tom mourned.

Tom Swifties

“I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,” said Tom heartlessly.

Tom Swifties