Author: Anonymous Page 93

Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.

Definitions

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Situations

Skeptic: One who won’t take know for an answer.

Definitions People

Brute Force: When your brain doesn’t work, just keep beating on the problem until one of you dies.

Definitions

He's a pretty sharp cookie.

Mixed metaphors

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Definitions Doctors Health

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

Gardener: A man who never lets grass grow under his feet.

Definitions

During exams you are permitted to look down for inspiration and up in exasperation, but you are not permitted to look side to side for information.

Education

This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.

Mixed metaphors

She knocked the socks off the ball.

Mixed metaphors

Even a spotted pig looks black at night.

Expressions Situations

Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.

Definitions Things

Cemetery: A place people are dying to get into.

Definitions

Counsel: Advice with a price tag.

Definitions

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Communication Family Language Mothers

We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.

Mixed metaphors

“I hear a brook,” Tom babbled.

Tom Swifties

Automobile: A payment plan on wheels.

Autos Definitions Things

We need to have photographic ears.

Mixed metaphors