Author: Anonymous Page 95

Sport: War without killing.

Definitions

You could start an argument in an empty house.

Characteristics Expressions

Creativity: The sudden cessation of stupidity.

Definitions Intelligence

“Ignore the first three turnings,” directed Tom forthrightly.

Tom Swifties

She plummeted the deaths of inequity.

Malaprops

“Will you quit rustling around in my closet!” said Leif.

Tom Swifties

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.

Definitions Men Women

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Definitions Occupations Work

Borrower: A man who tries to live within your means.

Definitions

Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.

Definitions

He had to use a fire distinguisher.

Malaprops

Damp weather is very hard on the sciences.

Malaprops

It sounds good on paper.

Ideas Intelligence Mixed metaphors

Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.

Definitions

“Damn it, look at the camera!” Tom snapped.

Tom Swifties

Epigram: A half-truth so stated to irritate the person who believes the other half.

Definitions

“I used to be a paratrooper,” Tom explained.

Tom Swifties

A veritable land mine of valuable information.

Malaprops

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

There's many a pessimist who got that way by financing an optimist.

Characteristics Money

Ornery as an old pine knot

Expressions