Author: Anonymous Page 99

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

That baby's cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

Appearance Expressions

Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.

Definitions

Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

People

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother’s vacation.

Activities Definitions

Life is beautiful, then you die.

Mixed metaphors

Don't do the crime if you can't get out the kitchen.

Mixed metaphors

Arabs wear turbines on their heads.

Clothing Malaprops

Camp: Where parents spend $1,000 for eight weeks to teach their child to make a 25-cent ash tray.

Definitions

Siamese Twins: First person plural.

Definitions People

Swingin' my legs from a dime

Expressions

“This steamroller is amazing,” said Tom flatteringly.

Tom Swifties

Yawn: Opening one’s mouth and wishing that others would close theirs.

Definitions

Wood fires help fuel climate change.

Mixed metaphors

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is.

Definitions

“I wouldn’t mind going with you to the tennis match,” she said gamely.

Tom Swifties

“I don’t want to rewrite this in prose,” said Tom aversely.

Tom Swifties

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.

Misspokements

Group Discussion: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work