Author: Josh Billings Page 2

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions Happiness

Love looks through a telescope, envy through a microscope.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions Love

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of a job.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Death Doctors Health

It ain’t what a man don’t know that makes him a fool, but what he does know that ain’t so.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Communication Language

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence Money

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry – for the clothes.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Clothing Insults Intelligence

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions Family Relationships

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People

Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Intelligence

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Appearance Insults

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Old Success

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Time

Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions Happiness Laughter

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Intelligence Wisdom

The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Situations

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Situations

Life is short, but it’s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Life