Author: Woody Allen Page 7

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Sex

I believe people ought to mate for life… like pigeons or Catholics.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage People

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Miscellaneous

If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Entertainment Film Money

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Body God Things

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Life

Luna Schlosser: What’s it feel like to be dead for 200 years?

Miles Monroe: Like spending a weekend in Beverly Hills.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Self Sex

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

God is silent; now if only man would shut up.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God People

I was the best I ever had.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Self Sex

What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream? .. or what'’s worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Miscellaneous

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Places

Sex and death; two things that come once in a lifetime… only after death, you’re not so nauseous.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Sex

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Cooking Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Sports

When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Doctors Health Mistakes

I think I see a cab. If we run quickly we can kick the crutch from that old lady and get it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

We played strip chess. She had me down to my shorts and I fainted from tension.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

I have an intense desire to return to the womb… anybody's.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Situations

There have been times when I’ve thought about it – but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death