Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Criticism
(Page 2)
How much would you charge to haunt a house?
Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer
(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance
Communication
Criticism
[Critics] search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.
Peter Ustinov
(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Communication
Occupations
Work
Criticism
Critics
To have
not
shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
America
Communication
Situations
Criticism
Of Dick Cheney
Shooting
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
Henny Youngman
(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication
Cemeteries
Criticism
The mediocrity of his thinking is concealed by the majesty of his language.
Aneurin Bevan
(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Communication
Speech
Criticism
Of Winston Churchill
Yeah, I tried to see it from your point of view, but I couldn’t get my head that far up my ass.
Chris Rock
(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Communication
Insults
Criticism
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Eating
Food/Drink
Criticism
Portions
Restaurants
In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication
Government
Places
Criticism
Russia
You know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics
Entertainment
People
Criticism
Please
Show
I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world.
Samuel Johnson
(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Art
Communication
Entertainment
Criticism
Paintings
[businesman] Sir Martin Sorrell is more arrogant than the entire French nation put together.
Alain de Pouzilhac
businessman & CEO
Communication
Insults
Criticism
Sir Martin Sorrell
One could not even dignify him with the name of a stuffed shirt; he was simply a hole on the air.
George Orwell
Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Communication
Insults
Criticism
On politician Stanley Baldwin
A victim of the use of water as a beverage.
Sam Houston
(1793 – 1863) American politician, statesman & soldier
Characteristics
Communication
Insults
Criticism
On President James K. Polk
I just got out of the hospital… I had my mother removed from my back.
Larry Amoros
comedian & television writer
Beliefs
Family
Mothers
Travel
Criticism
The freedom of the press works in such a way that there is not much freedom from it.
Grace Kelly
(1929 – 1982) American actress & princess of Monaco
Communication
Speech
Criticism
Freedom
The press
Another pot of coffee, waiter, and bring it under your arm to keep it warm.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Food/Drink
Coffee
Criticism
Temperature
I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world.
Russell Baker
(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Communication
Reading/Writing
Criticism
Poetry
To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.
Fred Shero
(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Beliefs
Hockey
Opinion
Sports
Criticism
Actress Mary Anderson: Mr. Hitchcock, what do you think is my best side?Hitchcock: My dear, you're sitting on it.
Alfred Hitchcock
(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Appearance
Insults
Criticism
If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim.
Margaret Thatcher
(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Communication
(also Lyndon Johnson)
Criticism
Swim
If people don't sit at Chaplin's feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting.
Herman J. Mankiewicz
(1897 – 1953) American writer & producer
Communication
Charlie Chaplin
Criticism
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