Subject: Age » Old

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

(1884 – 1970) American actress

I feel I can talk with more authority, especially when I say, ‘I don’t know.’

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author

Nothing makes a smoker happier than to see an old person smoking.

(1961 – 1994) comedian

I’m at the age where I can’t take anything with a grain of salt.

American comedian

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher

She's all done up like a well-kept grave.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Old age is like learning a new profession; and not one of your own choosing.

(1907 – ) French-born American historian of ideas & culture

Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you've got to start young.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president

Ask anybody over 30 – if they tell you they have more than 10 friends, you know they’re counting co-workers.

American comedian & television host

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday; I tell them, a paternity suit.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

He is so old… when he was in school they didn’t teach history!

Children are a great comfort in your old age… and they help you reach it faster too.

I’ve been doing it [stealing from hotels] for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

At eighty-eight how do you feel when getting up in the morning? … Amazed!

(1881 – 1973) German economist
The Hunger Site