Subject: Age » Old

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Senility: A cleansing of the mental blackboard shortly before class is dismissed.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress

My wife and I are discussing whether we’re going to spank our child or not; I say wait ’til she does something wrong.

American comedian

Old age is no place for sissies.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

You’ll have to ask somebody older than me.

(1883 – 1983) American composer, lyricist & pianist

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is a thrill.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author

How young can you die of old age?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that’s the law.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

When you feel that you would like to go back to your youth, think of algebra.

At my age flowers scare me.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

People with money live so damn long.

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