Subject: Appearance » Hair

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Appearance Body Hair

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

She’s so hairy – when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Hair Insults

Your hair is already such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn’t give it coffee.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was “I should cut my bangs.”

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Appearance Hair Situations

Wind velocity increases directly with the cost of the hairdo.

Hair Murphy’s Laws

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches, but since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.

(1982 – ) American author
Appearance Hair Relationships

Reporter: What do you call that hairstyle you’re wearing?

Harrison Arthur.

(1943 – 2001) English musician, singer & songwriter
Appearance Hair

Middle age: When a woman’s hair starts turning from gray to black.

Age Appearance Definitions Hair

Toupée: Top secret.

Appearance Definitions Hair

I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't; so I grew hair under my arms instead.

stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Communication Hair Speech

I was so ugly, my mother breast fed me through a straw.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Hair Self

Rando: Nice wig, Janice. What’s it made of?
Janis: Your mom’s chest hair!

(1982 – ) American actress & model
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Hair Ugly

People always ask me how long it takes to do my hair – I don’t know, I’m never there.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Hair

I get all my hair products at PetCo.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Appearance Hair

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Hair People

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Appearance Hair People

That’s where Jack and I were different, he would let his hair down, I just took mine off.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Appearance Hair People Situations

Claire: Your hair looks good, the curls work. Why don’t you get a perm?
Rose Morgan: I tried that once, I looked like Shirley Temple on crack.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

My husband said he wanted to have a relationship with a redhead, so I dyed my hair.

(1937 – ) American actress, writer, political activist, & fitness exponent
Appearance Hair