Subject: Communication » Language

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

The word 'spermicide' sounds like something sperms would do as a last resort; 'I'm not going out there anymore. I can't take it.'

stand-up comedian & actor

A fly was very close to being called a “land,” cause that's what they do half the time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

1. Never use one word when a dozen will suffice.
2. If it can be understood, it's not finished yet.
3. Never be the first to do anything.

Hector Torres, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

His tongue was an unguided missile.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Abstainer: A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

About sentence fragments.

Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Its important to use apostrophe's right.

As Doris Day used to sing Que Seroo Seroo.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

The words “don't" and “isn’t” are contraptions.

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.

(1882 – 1961) politician

I think one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time is the jackhammer.

(1973 – ) American comedian

I type a 101 words a minute… but it's in my own language.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Sometimes people come up to me and they'll be like, 'In Italy, it's pronounced 'Bir-Bee-Lya’ … and I'm like, 'In America, you're annoying.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Abbreviation: An inordinately long word in light of its meaning.

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